That jokes

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

I punched you so hard that I'll call you "Droppy Pussy."

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?

Gina: Because they hit me on the butt!

Bully: Yes, that must be cute!

Gina: Hmmm...

Gina: Do you want???

Bully: 😍😍😍... sexy ass!

Bully 🖐🏻🍑

Gina😊

Tried committing suicide last night...

Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!

He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"

Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-

Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."

Orphan: And I took that, personally.

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.

1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You’re not going to have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.

1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No, you don’t, I’m not going to accept that. It’s late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don’t," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again. "No, and I don’t care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the room.

I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

There are 10 types of people in this world.

Those that know binary and those that don't.

Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀