That jokes
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
What do you call a wheelchair kid that is on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.
Police: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH?
Police: Ends call.
Me: Calls hospital.
Hospital: What is that location?
Me: I don't know where is dis location.
Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.
Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.
Hospital: Hangs up.
Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.
Fire: No fire.
Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?
Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.
I want a series too, that will be SANS-tastic!
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That’s a huge sack of balls."
He didn’t realize what was about to happen.