Tell jokes

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.

Your secret is safe with me. I walnut tell a soul.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?

Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

HELP! HELP!

TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

A priest and a rabbi were hanging out at a playground. The priest waves to a kid to come over and tells the rabbi, "Let's screw this kid."

The rabbi looks confused and asks, "Out of what?"

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.