Tell Jokes

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me "Yeah I can read braille". So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read "Screw you, asshole"

Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

When a military dies we shoot aII night, when a drunkard dies we drink aII night, when a Christian dies we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies,what should we do???please tell me

Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie ....... no one could tell that it was their blood

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!” MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

My friend was a victim of a school shooting once but he couldnt tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his ar

I would tell a scoliosis joke

but that would be completely out of line

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her ‘doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?’ The doctor says ‘my number’

if a orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year tell them for you only 363 days because you skip fathers day and mothers day.

Me telling depression and suicide joke in front of my friends. My friends: ........ oh wait i dont have any, so nothin to worry about here.

Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”

I gave a blind kid a gun telling him it was a hair drier.

Here's a better version of a previous joke:

I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!