Tell jokes

I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!

What a negative effect!

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.

Nobody got it.

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."

The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.