Tell jokes

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"

Brayden: "Hey!"

*Music roles around*

*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*

Brayden: "O_O"

Hailey: *Hides*

So sad </3 xD

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Q: How do you punish a blind person?

A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

Dad: Johnny, Johnny?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Getting women?

Johnny: Yes, Papa.

Dad: Telling lies?

Johnny: No, Papa.

Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!

I got evicted from the hospital today for telling all the patients to stay positive!

What a negative effect!