Tell jokes
The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
Memes
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?
What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]