Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
Tell Jokes
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Normally I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it’s two plane.
Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!
Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.
Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!
Sans: Yea bro.
Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
