Tell jokes

A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.

The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:

"Num num num num num!"

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Ur dad is gay!

Omg! I didn't mean that. Please don't tell ur mom.

I'm so so so sry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.

A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

Why is an orphan good at being naughty?

Because they don't have no one to tell them off.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?

Bye-son.