Tell jokes

Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?

Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.

Dear Kenya, love of life,

Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!

Love you a million times more!

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Why is an orphan good at being naughty?

Because they don't have no one to tell them off.

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?

Bye-son.

How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.

How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.