Television

Television jokes

Kelly Clarkson

    • Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

    (And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

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    • Television memes

    War

    • I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.

    He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.

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    • Fan

    • What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

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    • Trump

    • My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

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    • School

    • Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

    The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

    Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

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    • Number

    • I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

    Episode

    • I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.

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    • Work

    • It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

    I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.