Television jokes
What's a schizophrenic's favourite reality show? The Voice.
What's Dr. Phil's least favorite music genre?
Emo.
All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.
Q: What's a hooker's favourite SpongeBob episode?
A: Rock Bottom.
So I was sitting on my couch, watching this homophobic TV show all about "straight and great". But then I remember, "Aren't I part of the LGBTQ?"
So I say, "Oh my God, let's throw it out the window because that would be a good idea!" But then it gets run over by 123,456,789 cars. It gave me a $150,000 fine. Guess I'm broke.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
This is WPBS-TV. We'll pledge-break soon — thanks, viewers!
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.