I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?...... That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friends grandpa is in the house
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and half men.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy? But he really saved the History Channel.
What is the difference in between a orphan and a TV?
One has more channels
🍷 📺 What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are ✝️ white christian nationalist? They both thank you for your financial support 👍 👍 👌 👌 😘 😘 😊 😊 💰 💰 💸 💸
Why can't a orphan watch T.V.
Because it can't find the home button
Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor? Telephone? NO. Television? No. How then? Tell A Woman
TV Darth Vader :I'm your father
Orphans: yea
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle? Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger"
