Television jokes
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
What is written on the gravestone of a TV reporter?
"You must be back at 8:00 p.m."
This is WPBS-TV. We'll pledge-break soon — thanks, viewers!
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
What show has something orphans will never have?
American Dad!
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.