Television jokes
Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
I'm Pickle Rick!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
Game of Thrones season 8.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why don't orphans watch TV?
Because of "Family Guy."
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."