Television jokes

What was JFK's favorite school TV show?

BrainPop.

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"

What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.

Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?

But he really saved the History Channel.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

Why does Elmo turn emo? Because he's Elmo emo.

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."

TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"

Orphans: "Yea."

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.