Television jokes
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
I'm a human. Syke, I'm Pickle Rick!
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What's Dr. Phil's least favorite music genre?
Emo.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
The Stigg is a joke.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.