Television jokes
Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
What TV series do orphans hate?
"House, M.D."
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in the room, we missed three seasons of our show!
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔
What show do orphans hate?
"American Dad."
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"