Teenager jokes
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?
Why not?
Too old.
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
If gravity pulls things down at 9.8 m/s squared, why did the emo kid not come down?
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
Imagine being emo.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!