Teenager jokes
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?
You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.
Imagine being emo.
What do you call an emo who's emo?
An emo.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
What’s the difference between a zit and a priest? The zit waits 'til you're 12 to cum on your face.
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.