Teenager Jokes

What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

What do you call a gang of emo kids?

Can emo kids get happy meals?

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

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The image is split into two sections. The top shows a woman with a surprised but pleased smile. The text above her reads, "Mums when their teenage son mentions a girl for the first time." Below, there is a cartoon character holding a shotgun with an angry expression. A younger cartoon character stands beside him. The text says, "Dads when their teenage daughter mentions a boy" and "I just want to talk with him."

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."

"What is it?" she asked.

"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.

"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.

"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.

"And your final wish?" the genie asked.

"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?

It left him hanging.

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags, and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills. A cop pulls up and he says, “Ma’am, ma’am, your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills.” Then she says, “Oh, thank you. I wonder how long that’s been going on.” And the cop says, “Before I help you, may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bills?” And the lady says, “OK, I’ll tell you. So I live next to a stadium, and I have this beautiful rose garden, but these dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes. So they stick their junk through the fence, and I grab their junk. I said, ‘$100 dollars or it’s coming off.’” The cop says, “Oh, OK, well what’s the other bag for?” And she says, “Well, not all of them want to give me $100.”