Teenager jokes

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common? A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

How do emo kids complement each other?

They say, "I like ya cuts g."

What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?

A liar.

What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?

Two beeps went off.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."