Teenager jokes
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.