Technology jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
Are you Google?
Because you got all I am searching for.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
Question: What do you call 8 apples?
Answer: The iPhone 8.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
What is an orphan's first phone?
An iPhone 12. Wanna know why?
It has no home button :D
Why did he not love anymore? His battery died.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."