Technology jokes
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?
Do it in calculator.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
Your mom is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
Memes
*Enter password*
"ScoobyDoo"
"Password must contain special character."
"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.