Technology jokes
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
Google is butt.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.