Technology jokes

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

I think my penis has facial recognition.

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."

Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

When Stephen Hawking died, did they take him to the hospital or PC World?

Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Discord.

Discord who?

I need discord to plug in the phone.

What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?

"Windows Shut Down."

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He had a computer virus!

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.

I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.