Technology jokes

Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

What do you call a family picture for an orphan?

A selfie.

What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!

Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.

Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!

Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."

How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.

Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.

I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.

May he rest in pizza.