What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
What do you call a family picture for an orphan?
A selfie.
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
