Technology jokes
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??
Rollin' and Controllin'.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!