Technology jokes
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
Memes
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Donโt have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Which country is next to the USA? USB.