I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
I got jealous when my phone dies.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
What is the difference between an orphan and a TV?
One has more channels.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
