Technology jokes

I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.

Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.

Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon!