Technology jokes

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.

I got jealous when my phone dies.

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.

How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?

Because it got everybody's pokes!