Technology jokes

What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”

I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!

I got jealous when my phone dies.

I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.

May he rest in pizza.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄

We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.