Technology jokes

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.

Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄

We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.

Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".

What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?

I don't know... I just fly the drone.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.

Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.

If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?

The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

I'm logging out.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.

Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon!

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."