What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
