Technology jokes
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I'm shocked, my new toaster isn't waterproof.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.
I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.