Technology jokes
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ... so Trump can't tweet it.
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?