Technology jokes

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's an alien's favorite computer key?

The space bar!

What do you call someone with a pindie spot?

Stop screen recording.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.

In honor of Diddy:

The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.