Technology jokes

So, Duracell batteries do run out.

Where do keyboards go to have dinner?

The space bar!!!

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

Why did God make men?

Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?

Hot Wheels.

What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?

A robot can feign empathy.

This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.