Technology jokes

So, Duracell batteries do run out.

Where do keyboards go to have dinner?

The space bar!!!

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.

What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?

A robot can feign empathy.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?

Hot Wheels.

This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.

Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.

What do you call someone with a pindie spot?

Stop screen recording.

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.