Technology jokes

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.

I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!

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What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?

Robot Wars.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because he forgot to plug in the charger.

Why is there no woman on the moon?

Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He ran out of battery life.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.