Technology jokes
Stephen Hawking's last words were the Windows closing sound.
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights. There’s no reason she needs to talk that much; it’s not like replying to her is voice activated.
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it does not have a home page.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.
Father: Guns cause all these problems!
Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*
Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.