Technology jokes
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Memes
When you put the highest setting in the vibrator
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He turned off the Wi-Fi.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.
Stephen Hawking tried to install a free version of Windows 10.