Technology jokes
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Welcome to our Computer Show.
I'm Mars Argo.
Welcome to youtube.com.
Memes
Anyone seen these lately?
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
Why do orphans like to play Minecraft?
Because they like to have a home.
Orphans can't find the home page.
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
What operating system do Indian scammers use?
"Window licker XP."
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.