Technology jokes

Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

His wife shut off the internet.

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter?

Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE.

Reddit king and q, I really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop. You're obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes.

If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?

Me: I been up all night, no sleep--

The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.

Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......

Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.

I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost WiFi connection.

Add me on Xbox Live: ironstriker1316.

What happens when you search nudes on my phone?

Nothing, I don't have any.

What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.

I go balls deep in your mum with no power.

What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?

The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!

Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?