Technology jokes
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
Memes
When you put the highest setting in the vibrator
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter?
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE.
Reddit king and q, I really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop. You're obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes.
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.