Technology jokes
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
Grandma: calls You: Hello Grandma, what are you doing? Why, you can't mean I'm right in the house right now? Grandma: I didn't mean to call you, bye.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Memes
yer a wizard harry
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
Murder: Wanna play a game?
Me: Ok (pulls out Xbox controller)
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.