Technology jokes
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
Memes
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
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What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.