Technology jokes

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?

A: Because they get liked.

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

Where do spiders commit crimes?

The Dark Web.

Is Gwen still on this app thing?

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Why was the turtle looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.