Technology jokes
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Memes
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
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What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.