Technology jokes

Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?

A: Because they get liked.

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?

Because they don't know how to use the home button.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Is Gwen still on this app thing?

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.

What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.

Why was the turtle looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.