Technology jokes

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.

Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

"Windows 10 shutting down."

Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

Be careful what you say around Indians, the red dot means they're recording.

BTW, I am one, wahahaa!

I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

What kind of music do wind turbines like?

They are big, heavy metal fans!

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.

Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.

Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?

Because they're recording.

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the wifi.