Technology jokes
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
Pop-up. P
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
I built a website for an orphanage, but it had no homepage.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!
Why can orphans have a phone? Because they can find the home button.
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.