Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
Why can't an orphan use an Apple iPad?
Because it can't find the home button...
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.