The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
I love the smell of my F5 key. -- It's very refreshing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
