Technology jokes

What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

I like my men like I like my Alexa:

By my bed and turned on.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"

I got jealous when my phone dies.

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

When does an emo get jealous at a phone?

When it dies.

Orphans can't find the home page.

New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.