Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!...water...yup,water...
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
You walk in to a old ran down house and you see that a light is on you walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room and you run to the exit to leave but when you get to the door somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go in to the house more and you see another room with a light on so you go in when you go In “flip” all the light go off then yo7 see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says “let the game show begin” yiu see other people next to you and they seem scared then a wall comes down yiu see a optical cores and yi7 go on and then a chainsaw comes at yiu and it misses you but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies
Part two comeing soon this is inspired by the scp foundation have a nice summer
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
There were three men, and two of them died.
The last man alive said, "That's two less mouths to feed!"
Yo mama so stupid she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash
Whats the difference to A komikaze an bin ladin binLadin survived wen he went into a building i have aids
Doctor: u have cancer. Patient: will i survive? Doctor: prolly not
