Survival Jokes

What does vin diesel eat for dinner Survival Guilt

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."

Bro the twin towers are like my grandpa and his friends one survived/ my grandpa the others have fallen/ his friends

Who were the people that survived 9/11? The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump

What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!...water...yup,water...

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience. The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "if you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

Yo mama so stupid she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash

Doctor: u have cancer. Patient: will i survive? Doctor: prolly not

Whats the difference to A komikaze an bin ladin binLadin survived wen he went into a building i have aids

Mr.beast challenge in Memphis be like last one to survive the shooting wins 1 million dollars

one day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said,"First time?"

Orphan:I fucked your mom

Kid:atleast mine survived from it

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave. Somebody went, damn that crashed harder than the twin towers. Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash

There was a house with three storey building 🏢 First one had Mexicans Second one had Africans Third one had white people Earthquake came But who did survive? 🤔 The white family Cause they were at work

Fnaf (when C.C got his head bit and survived) him at age 20

In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a street next to a theater; not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her; every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well, that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every tuesday - just to keep her spirits up.

One tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story, and decided to share his fortune.

Gentleman: I work as a magician in the touring show - today we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate - but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin.

A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.” Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me”