Surprise jokes

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.

Interrupting Co- MOO!

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!

Why can you never surprise mountains?

They peak.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.

Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm!

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"