Surprise Jokes

My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

What happened?

Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!

A close-up photo shows a silver door handle that has been pulled off the door. The handle's plate has two screws that look like eyes and the hole for the handle is like an open mouth giving it a surprised expression. The text above reads "Just pulled the door handle off, safe to say it was as surprised as I was..."

I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"

What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?

Still being in the orphanage at 13.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.