Surprise jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!
I got a toaster for my birthday and said, "Yay, new bath bomb!"
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Are you twinning today? Because The Rock would be shocked!
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."