Surprise jokes

I was shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Twitter just blew my mind.

I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Ha ha! Get rickrolled!

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.

Holy cow!

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.

Fuck me.

If you're looking at this, then look behind you!

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”