Support jokes

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

Are your hands feeling heavy? Because I can hold them for you.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?

His running mate has 34 of them!