Support jokes

A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

How do you get a depressed man out of the tree? You cut the rope.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.

Tbh they really left me hanging there.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.

My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one they can call "daddy."

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.