Support Jokes

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

im sobbing, fruit wuz my first friend on here, and now he's gone :<

A text message screenshot saying:
"Can confirm this is me. I didn't sign in, and I won't sign in ever again. You guys are the best. Dagger, stfu. but fr tho, Dagger, you should pursue being a therapist. I believe in you, your awesome. (wrong you're on purpose) :hello:, you're a great friend. stay out of trouble. Cas/Kai, You are a genuine comedian, you make me feel good about myself, and you are very kind. Ashton, STFU. Bye ya'll. For real this time."

What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

“Hang in there!”

What do you call a Trump Supporter?

A piece of $hit!

I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

like this if you have ever been abused.

How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?

This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.