Support

Support Jokes

Life Support

My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

Orphanage

When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.

Suicide

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

Suicide

What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?

The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.

Water Bill

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

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  • Grandfather

    What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.

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  • Grandpa

    I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

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  • Suicide

    What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?

    “Hang in there!”

    Rape

    I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.

    Hypocrisy

    Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

    Suicide

    My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

    Friend

    Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

    My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

    Fear

    How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?

    Survivor

    This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭

    Suicide

    My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

    Life Support

    My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

    I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

    Orphan

    The orphan: why don't my parents love me? Me: because you don't have any.