Support jokes
I made a website to support orphans.
It just needs a home page.
My brother went missing 5 years ago. He also supported TRUMP. He is currently dead in my basement in a chest in a cupboard.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
No one has my back like my dad.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!