How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
Suicide Jokes
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is in hot water for importing $49 million worth of Tylenol that medical facilities couldn't even use.
I have a few suggestions about what she can do with all that Tylenol.
I heard Danielle Smith likes trains.
So I told her to go stand in front of one.
👌neck
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him :)
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
I'm gonna cut my life off.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
