Suicide jokes
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
No joke.
Wait, that's me.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.