Suicide jokes
My life.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
No joke.
Wait, that's me.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?
We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.
A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me.
All I wanted was for someone to help me sue Icide...
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.