Suicide jokes
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
Kill yourself in anyway. I'm doing it the HIGHway.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
👌neck
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.