Suicide jokes
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
DEEZ NUTS!
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
My life.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
Wait, that's me.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
No joke.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏