Suicide jokes
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
DEEZ NUTS!
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
My life.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
Wait, that's me.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
No joke.
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.