Suicide jokes
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
How do you get a trans woman to commit suicide?
Use he/him pronouns on him.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Slit your wrists.
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?
A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.
Wait, that's me.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”