Suicide jokes
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
Don't commit suicide, that stuff kills you.
👌neck
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
Are you a toaster? 'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
Are you a knife? 'Cause you make me wanna KMS.
Are you a painting? 'Cause I hang you.
Are you the flu? 'Cause you make me wanna hurl.
Are you a newspaper? 'Cause you have new problems every day.
Are you the ground? 'Cause I'm six feet deep in you ;)
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him :)
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
I'm gonna cut my life off.
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Your nan is gay.
I saw three people online on this site... Hope you guys will commit suicide tonight.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.