Suicide jokes
85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.
(Teach me your ways, 15%.)
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
A pornstar committed suicide; her coworkers must be taking it hard.
DEEZ NUTS!
Why did Aaron slit his wrists?
Because it's him.
Is laughing a problem?
Laughing at what?
I want to jump.
Jump—what?
Jump off the hook.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
My life.
Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?
No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!
Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Why are people that have bipolar disorder never on suicide watch?
Because they are always sucking dick.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
Wait, that's me.