Suicide

Suicide jokes

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stopped the emo.

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.