Suicide

Suicide Jokes

People

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

  • 3
  • Emo kid

    Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.

    Hitler

    God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.

    Hitler: Kills himself.

    Apple

    What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?

    They're both hanging from a tree.

    House

    When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

    People

    Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.

    That’s why no one will be hurt.

    Emo kid

    So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

    Too bad he left him hanging.

    People

    What do suicidal people and apples have in common?

    They both hang from trees.

    Appointment

    I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

    Tree

    I saw a tree. I looked up, and there was an apple hanging. And then I said, "Wow, that guy is lucky!"

    Pigeon

    Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?

    A: A suicide bomber.

    Man

    A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.

    The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."

    Sloth

    What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.