Stop jokes

What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the lights.

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?

It died before them.

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Why do orphans live on buses?

They never have a home to stop at.

The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.

They had to call an archeologist.

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"