Stop jokes
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
Doctor: You should stop masturbating.
Me: Doc, I'm almost done.
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.