A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
