When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
We should stop being mean to orphans.
We should be cruel instead.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
