A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
stop hating on pedos at least the drive slow in school zones
Head of Company: We need to stop testing our products on animals. Consultant: Why? The shampoo companies do it. Head of Company: Yeah, but we make dildos.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
What did one traffic light say to the other. Stop looking I am changing
stop with the blind jokes...I don't see the point.
What would fall out of a tree first? A depressed person or a feather?.
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa, one stops at the top of the skyscraper.
My heart says to stop because it hurts Bro chill its really not that deep
How do you say Brazier in German?
Stop em’ from flopp’n (German accent)
i hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though i think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldnt wanna hurt your funny bone, but i think your starting to get BONELY so ill stop pulling your leg. Now get out before i give you a bad time.
why did the topless woman shout 'stop raping us'?
because she was uneducated
Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes minded
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in, and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said,"Drama queen!"
Why did the carrot roll down the hill? Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair
Whats better than swinging a baby around on a rope??? Stopping it with a shovel.
What runs but never stop
